Your ghost is breathing down my neck and making my hairs rise again. Your icy fingertips trace my spine and prick my soul with compunction. I stumble and fall as I am running from your existence, denying your presence and pretending this never was. Your shadow stalks and stifles my only chance at happiness.
I demand change from repetition. Like a dog returning to vomit to lap it up and duplicate past mistakes. I eat your words without question, and wonder why my insides start to churn and spill from my lips. Yet here I am, licking and kissing the ground. I don't want to neglect one drop.
My world is swirling and the chaos consumes my life. The very moment I believe that I can see the sun, you push my face tighter to the ground and I begin to breathe in the dirt. The musty scent fills my lungs and I start to long for your touch on the back of my head. It's all that I know.
What is this monster that is devouring my sanity? I know better than this. I know that you will never make me happy; you can never give me what I need. Yet, I run to you and I crave the madness.
Please tell me why. Why must your vulgar voice whisper in my ear before I fall asleep? Those nasty words I've tried to forget, they ring in my brain. They reverberate and spring from the walls of my skull. You are a banshee, a ghoul that screams and rips my heart from my chest.
I am begging for you to leave me be, to let me bandage and paste the splinters of my broken ribs back together. Please, please just leave me alone.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
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