Silver Lining

The most recent addition to my collection...

I’m dancing in the silver lining of your sweet face. Twirling it in my fingers and waiting for it to burst, waiting for my body to burst. I’m waiting to explode at the very touch of your lovely fingertips tracing my every curve.

I love to play in the swirling brown curls. Lose myself in the madness of blue, the deepest blue I have ever seen. Or was it green? I want to know if I can trust the madness. I can believe the green, but never the blue.

Back again to the pillows that form your candy mouth. I’ll be unable to find my tongue as we make pretzels and bows with every kiss. How sweet would it be? I would let you keep my soul as a souvenir, to always remind you of what you will never call your own.

I map every freckle and every line. I am drawing the constellations of my heart on your buttery skin. Every vein bulges with desire and want for the forbidden fruit. Come here boy, I have something I would like to show you.

Watch as the world around our bodies melts away. The smell of your sweat stings my nose and I breathe you in. Your aftertaste swims in my mouth as I whisper your name, and beg for you to take me again. I can see my fate spinning in your untrustworthy eyes.

I giggle at your hair as it stands on end. The static created by skin rubbing skin is almost overwhelming. Butterfly and Eskimo kisses, what more could we ask for? I've finally snuck you between my sheets, and that’s where I plan to hide your beautiful body. No, I will not let you go.

Did I live up to your fantasies? I want to paint a mural of this moment and capture each sigh and every moan. I want to paint your bed head and keep a piece of you with me always. I will make my hide your canvas and needle the ink of your deception onto my bones.

Again, please touch me there again. Run your hands up my side and across my breast. Breath on my neck, please breathe on my neck one more time. Kiss my thigh and make me shake. Trace my lips with your tongue, please leave me wanting more. Make me beg.

Will these stolen moments ever seem wrong? I know they are wrong, my brain tells me so. The incessant clamoring of my heart drowns out any sensibility I may have once possessed. Like sugar slipping through my fingers, you were never meant to be held for long. I will tell myself anything I want to hear, just to justify your presence.

I am dancing in the silver lining of your sweet face. Twirling it in my fingers and waiting for it to burst, waiting for my body to burst. I’m waiting to explode at the very touch of your lovely fingertips tracing my every curve.

Never is a Promise

“Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings.” -Victor Hugo

One year, one whole year has passed and I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I have learned so much and I cherish the lessons, each and every one. No matter how many tears, no matter how afraid I may have been, no matter what I may have lost.

There will always be a hole in my heart, and I will never feel complete until I hold you in my arms again. You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine.

Where I have been and where I am going, no one knows. All I can do is take what you have given me and take another step. I know there will be many more mistakes and a number of lessons along the way. You will always be in my heart and on the back of my mind. There are little reminders everywhere I turn, this is one more specifically for you. Never is a Promise, and you can't afford to lie.

Something Peculiar For Your Tastebuds...

I have a feeling tonight may be a bit random for all of us. Stay with me, we'll get through it.

As promised, Tyana and I went apartment hunting Saturday. Ok, not really... we were distracted by a fancy lunch at the Dodo and the glitzy window displays of Anthropology. In other words, a beautiful day. (Side note: It was a much-needed tangent of a day, because we had previously made up for our lack of "search" on Thursday. Many possibilities.)

Speaking of tangents, I have a few that are aching to escape.

"It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get."- Rene Descartes

Have you ever truly thought about our basic human instinct? Is it unnatural to be good, to honestly be a good person? I believe it takes work, and it is something we need to strive and work toward every day of our lives. I would love to trust in human nature, even more, I would love to believe in the integrity of all man kind. It's so sad, and yet so humbling to think of what primal creatures we are.

Please do not misinterpreted what I am trying to say. Yes, we do have good qualities amongst the terrible. And yes, you can stumble across a good dead without a lot of work. The truth is it is easier to lie and manipulate than to stand up and defy the popular vote. It is easier to turn away than to share your shoulder with a stranger in need. It is tempting to taste the forbidden fruit, knowing that it is forbidden for a reason. It is far more pleasant to pretend that reason doesn't exist, and you deserve a taste of the fruit. After all, you have earned it because you have been such a 'good' person. See where I am going with this?

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."-C.S. Lewis

On a more jovial note.

“There’s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn’t say, “I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.””-Eddie Izzard

I don't have much to go along with Eddie, I just wanted to point you in a different direction.

Please remember, you were pre-warned... :) Have a fabulous day!