Ghost

Your ghost is breathing down my neck and making my hairs rise again. Your icy fingertips trace my spine and prick my soul with compunction. I stumble and fall as I am running from your existence, denying your presence and pretending this never was. Your shadow stalks and stifles my only chance at happiness.

I demand change from repetition. Like a dog returning to vomit to lap it up and duplicate past mistakes. I eat your words without question, and wonder why my insides start to churn and spill from my lips. Yet here I am, licking and kissing the ground. I don't want to neglect one drop.

My world is swirling and the chaos consumes my life. The very moment I believe that I can see the sun, you push my face tighter to the ground and I begin to breathe in the dirt. The musty scent fills my lungs and I start to long for your touch on the back of my head. It's all that I know.

What is this monster that is devouring my sanity? I know better than this. I know that you will never make me happy; you can never give me what I need. Yet, I run to you and I crave the madness.

Please tell me why. Why must your vulgar voice whisper in my ear before I fall asleep? Those nasty words I've tried to forget, they ring in my brain. They reverberate and spring from the walls of my skull. You are a banshee, a ghoul that screams and rips my heart from my chest.

I am begging for you to leave me be, to let me bandage and paste the splinters of my broken ribs back together. Please, please just leave me alone.